Posted by Vee | May 25, 2009, 16:45 (EST) | 8 Comments
Category: Books, Fandom, TV Series
So, so cool to see authors coming out as Vampire Diaries (and L.J. Smith) fans this week. (Hi, Melissa Marr!) Sarah Rees Brennan, author of The Demon’s Lexicon (which has received ringing endorsements from such writers as Holly Black, Scott Westerfield, and Cassandra Clare), posted a funny summary of The Vampire Diaries on her LJ this morning that we had to share. Thanks to Sarah for being game – we hope she decides to write those “affectionate parodies” of the TV episodes when they start airing. SPOILERS AHOY.
I am really looking forward to a show called The Vampire Diaries, coming out this autumn. It’s based on a series of books by LJ Smith, and LJ Smith was my Twilight – she wrote the books I went crazy for when I was a teenager… I still remember enough to be able to summarise the backstory of The Vampire Diaries for you.
STEFAN: As befits the angsty hero of a series about vampires, my interests include poetry and the arts, and my fragile vampire girlfriend Katherine.
DAMON: My interests include drinking, gambling, wenching and annoying my little brother. Speaking of which, hello Katherine.
KATHERINE: I have decided to make you both vampires, and live with both of you in eternal vampiric bliss.
STEFAN: Live with… I’m sorry, what are you trying to imply…
DAMON: WHEN I SAID I WAS UP FOR ANYTHING, THIS IS NOT WHAT I MEANT AT ALL.
KATHERINE: Well, if you won’t give me eternal vampiric bliss, I am offing myself. That’ll show you! Then you’ll weep in each other’s arms!
STEFAN AND DAMON: have a duel
KATHERINE: Or not.
STEFAN: Oh my God, Damon, we’re vampires! The undead, the damned, utterly doomed to endless torment. What do we do, what do we do?
DAMON: It’s okay, Stefan. I have a plan.
STEFAN: Hurrah, what is your plan?
DAMON: TO MAKE YOUR LIFE AN ETERNAL MISERY.
STEFAN: lives centuries of eternal misery, drinking the blood of pigeons
DAMON: That’s what I’m talkin’ about.
STEFAN: Time to reinvent myself as an American high school student, who plays on the football team and has just met a girl who looks uncannily like his lost love. What is this feeling? Is it… happiness?
DAMON: Oh, Stefan. Why do you do these things to us both? It gives me no pleasure to hurt you.
STEFAN: …
DAMON: Ahahaha, who am I kidding! Hurting you is awesome. Speaking of which, hello Elena!
We love you, Vampire Diaries fandom. That is all.
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5:03 pm on May 25th, 2009
Yes yes yes. LOL! Tara(Quote)
5:21 pm on May 25th, 2009
Well, now when people ask me for a comprehensive summery on this series, I know what direction I’m pointing them in. ;) Pretty.Blush(Quote)
11:40 pm on May 25th, 2009
I am laughing so hard right now that my roommate’s dog has run up the stairs just to stare at me like I am an idiot.
Oh how I love this! Victoria(Quote)
3:22 pm on May 26th, 2009
Awesome! And might I add, *hello* Damon!
Also really excited to see another Dark Visions fan. That was the series that started it all for me, and still my favourite, I think. Glitterati(Quote)
9:23 pm on May 26th, 2009
I really like Sarah Rees Brennan’s work. She was – before she went pro – involved in the Harry Potter fandom. Those parodies that she does on her LJ are always brilliant, and I’m hoping she sticks around for the show too.
Wow, so many LJS fans out there! Adia(Quote)
3:01 pm on May 28th, 2009
Does Stefan really seem that hopeless and weak
to everyone? Im sorry but he was my favorite of the 2 brothers, I guess for reasons that are just dead to everyone these days. Stacey(Quote)
3:33 pm on May 28th, 2009
No. In fact, most of us recognise that he’s got depth and strength and is even a match for Damon in many respects. We love him to bits. It’s just that, like Damon does, we find him so easy to tease. ;) Red(Quote)
4:20 pm on May 28th, 2009
That must be why I pick Stefan. I never liked bullies. Picking on others weakness to cover up there own faults. Dont get me wrong, I can see why the attraction to Damon. Oh I so wonder how things will end for Elena and her men when L.J. finishes their story. Go team Stefan. Stacey(Quote)